oh gosh,
i feel like banging my head against the wall too.
my father just told me that i should control my temper -.-
oh gosh,
oh gosh,
she has NOTHING to do with me but why am i so angry?
ITS BECAUSE THE ONES SHE IS DISCRIMINATING ARE MY SQUADMATES,
thats why i care.
if the moment i read your facebook posts were the moments during act,
you would so die.
now i understand how the ex-NCOs felt.
but i dont remember being so shameless before.
IN THIS NOTE:
I am really sorry..I know its all our fault that we made you all feel so bad :( I did not mean to hurt you all during the camp..I have been trying to make up to you all because i feel as bad,I know it is a difficult and tiring task for you all and you may want to do something silly.I cant help it but it really hurts alot and i am worried for you when i see your wall.Its all our fault that we failed to satisfy you all and i know we are unwanted people, we may have hurt you all during the candlelight night and we have been very remorseful especially when i saw you all cry..this memory is indeed a bad experience..I really dont know how to make you all feel better except from apologising..No matter what the outcome will be, whether or not we are injured, please do not leave us alone for you all will always be remembered, respected because we know the problem lies with us, failing to please you.. I am really sorry, please forgive us for doing what we have done that may have hurt you all.. :'(

IN THE SAME NOTE (COMMENTS):
- ITC was quite a harrowing experience for us and a handful actually cried..But it actually hurts our heart alot to see our NCOs crying for we know that it was our fault. :(
- I dont know too..we may be an epic failure..I dont know why we are of such a huge disappointment, but i am willing to do anything to satisfy them.. :(

IRONIC, isnt it?
harrowing?
how can 3 days of camp be harrowing?
you try to act strong (ACT -.-)
by saying 'That time I suddenly feel giddy and very pain...then the NCOs asked me...I told them it's ok.. Actually I don't want to cry... But they say if it's really pain then cry out...don't suffer in silence... Although I did not dared to tell them or cry out because I don't want them to worry, but it's really pain... :('

and even 'I think it's better now.. Just that every now and then quite painful... :( the NCOs were quite violent.. During the candlelight night, ALL the NCOs started snatching our flags and one chased me all over the hall..they were all so violent.. Now have a bruise on my left hand and a cut on a finger.. :O I will always remember yesterday...'

things about those things you said:
1. we DID NOT ask you to cry out if it is painful. we plainly asked if you were okay. and you can suffer in silence for all i care, if you decided not to tell us it is painful then that is YOUR problem, not OURS.
2. how can we not worry? even though we didn't cause that injury, you are still injured. and by not telling us, you are making us worry even more (yeah, worry that we would get a call from your parents complaining -.-)
3. WE were quite violent? who were the ones being violent there? weren't it YOU and your squadmates? in case you haven't noticed, most of your injuries are self-inflicted. AND at one point in time, it was just 2 NCOs against a whole bunch of your guys. we did not kick or punch anyone. we just simply tried to pull and hold on to your flags.
4. WOAH, there is 'a bruise on your left hand and a cut on a finger'. haven't you ever thought of the injuries the NCOs suffered because of you guys? fyi, i have 2 cuts and 8 bruises just because you guys tried to kick and hit us. michele had a big bruise near her eye. -.-
5. wow, the first time you had a bruise and cut on the same day. congrats! that definitely is a day to remember. -.-

Another FB status update: (thats why they say fb is your biggest enemy)
ITC was really very tiring... It's not considered tough but tiring instead. I stay awoke the whole night, not sleeping at all , just to protect our flag. However, in the night... a group of NCO cane into our bunk and one started snatching it away from me and end up breaking it into two pieces and one of them flew and hit me on the head... :(

oh gosh,
i really want to strangle her the moment i see this.
i admit,
we came into your bunk with the intention to steal your flags.
but seeing that you were all not very asleep,
we just strolled in to ask all of you to sleep.
WE HAVEN'T EVEN REACHED THE PLACE WHERE YOU WERE SITTING.
when you took the flag from your squadmate in the panic that we were going to steal your flag.
WE SERIOUSLY STROLLED. oh my freaking god.
thats when you hit your own head with the end of the flag.
we did not try to snatch the flag,
nor did we break into it 2 pieces during that encounter.
please at least get your facts right before posting something this stupid on fb on the impression that the NCOs cannot see what you have posted.

okay, im done with that person.
now, im going to officially start on ITC.
frankly speaking,
i was looking forward to ITC this year.
just a few hours into the camp and im looking forward to going home.
the camp was a total disappointment.
i admit,
it would be fun for the squad ICs (the exception being jingyee)
so?
just that few lines was enough to hurt okay.
all you cared about was your squad.
you were squadmates with us for almost 4 years now,
and you have just been with your squad for what,
6 months?
just because they laugh at whatever you say,
listen to whatever you say,
and do whatever you want them to do with no resistance at all,
i can understand why you like them so much.
they are exactly like your dogs, no?
you are trying to raise them to be something you can be proud of.
and when they do,
you become more fond of them,
when they do not,
you don't scold them but reassure them.
just like you would to dogs (just in case, the dog gets pissed and bites you)
you always say things like you dont really care for them when i try to point out to you that you actually do.
i know you are trying not to hurt my feelings.
but in fact,
it hurts even more when you first say you dont care,
then go on to talk about how happy or how worried you are about them.
it seriously pisses me off.
that night,
everyone was tired and was heading to our bunks to sleep.
you suddenly said you were not tired and even volunteered to take over her duties for the night.
i have to admit,
for that one moment,
i was surprised and even touched.
i knew that you were tired (how can you not be, esp when you are used to sleeping early and value your sleep a lot; so much that you flared up at me when i asked whether you got any sleep on the first night when you didn't)
i thought you did that so that she could at last get some rest.
but no.
after that,
you asked whether she was taking your squad.
when she said no,
you said firmly that you no longer want to help fill her in for her duties.
to tell you the truth,
i was so pissed at that moment that i said 'so its just because of your squad lah' and stormed ahead.
i bet you did not even sense my hostility then,
you were too busy thinking of ways to spend more time with your squad.
(you managed to swap duties with another squadmate just to spend time with them anyway)
so you volunteered to sacrifice your sleep for your squad (just because you want to crap with them)
but you refused to sacrifice your sleep just so that your squadmate could get some sleep.
and to think we scolded the juniors for their attitude towards their squadmates.
i know you are going to be damn pissed after you read this post,
but i still have to say this.
sorry ._.

P.S. i agree to what jingyee said on her blog about raymeo.
i thought he was someone who would care and help us ._.
it seems that i thought wrong.