The feel I get from national day this year is really different from last year, or even from 2 years before.
For me, every national day was something to celebrate.
Not that I am patriotic or anything, its more of 'hey I have got something to celebrate and actually feel like celebrating'
For the past 2 years, somehow people have managed to make it special for me.
From the impromptu national day outing at Gardens By The Bay to eat ice cream and catch the fireworks with squadmates to the beach day with 6A peeps, they both gave me great memories.
Though nothing since the end of A levels have rendered me with enough emotion (? dont know if this is used this way haha) for me to type a blog post.
I feel that national day is one of those special days that should deserve one.
I didn't blog about last year's national day, cause as you have noticed, i tend not to blog about happy stuff.
HAHA i prefer to keep the happy stuff in and blurt out the not-so-happy stuff
They are not sad thoughts or memories but more of a piece of insight or reflection on my part.
I think that blogging helps me to better understand myself cause I'm actually thinking before typing anything out.
I dont want to lament about what is going to happen in 2 days time when uni actually starts.
Now i just want to reminisce the wonderful times i had with my most loved friends.
They are beautiful memories, ones that i want to keep.
Though i didnt catch the fireworks on TV this year, I have a video of it on TV HAHA
Feeling the occasion with different people really makes a difference.
This year, the people in my whatsapp and messages are people from NUS, and not RV.
They feel different, they act different.
Generally, they have a different aura that i havent got used to yet.
Sometimes, I look back and think about the time at YFC again.
But no, they no longer make me miss it like mad like they used to.
I kind of think the tearing-at-your-heart feel got reduced to a dull throbbing sensation, if you know what i mean
Indeed, time should be able to heal.
It did, but i still get that empty feeling when i stare at those fireworks displays and aircraft displays.
Why did i have to be think of it when i was staring at the fireworks display 2 years ago?
Its not the flying, but the emotions tied closed to the memories of it.
urgh, now everytime i look at fireworks, i recall that moment.
It was a truly beautiful moment that i didnt want to end.
Watching the fireworks, i really could feel the past 2 years fly pass before my eyes.
And I feel that tiny twinge in my heart, just as I did a year before and two years back.
I am transported back in time for that moment. Again.
And perhaps again next year.